어렸을때 고향에서 아버지는 작은 경양식 집을 하셨다.
그때는 12시까지 밖에 영업이 안되나 그래서 밤12시면 마감을 하셨는데
나는 종종 가게마감할때까지 가게에서 놀곤 했다.
그때가 국민학교때쯤으로 당시 장하사던곳은 지하였는데
영업이 종료되는 시간이 되면 아빠가 청소를 다 한다음엔
먼저 엄마와 나를 올려보내시고는 혼자서 가게불과 계단등을 다끄고 깜깜한계단을
혼자 걸어오시는게 참 인상적이었다. ( 진짜 아무것도 안보였다. )
왜 인상적이었냐면 그게 엄청 무서워 보이는 일인데
이걸 매일 하고 계신다는거지. 가끔은 가족들과 였지만 보통은 혼자서 하셨다.
난 그런 무서운일을 하는 아빠가 대단해 보였다.
시간은 흘러
이제는 직원들 다 퇴근 시키고 나혼자 넓은 사무실에 스스로 혼자 있고
혼자 불 다 꺼놓고 잠도 잘잔다.
내가 무서울수도 있는 상황중이라는걸 한동안 꽤 의식 하지 못했는데
어느순간 어렸을때 아빠가 가게 마감하던 장면이 생각났다.
난 무섭고 뭐고 그냥 당연하니까 했다.
무섭다는 생각은 밖에 나오니까 들더라고
아니면 아침에 잠을 깬 다음이던가...
아빠도 그랬을려나
어쨌든 지금은 더 넓은 사무실로 옮겨서
지금 현재 이 높은 건물 넓은 18층에 나밖에 없지만
아무리 혼자 프린터가 움직이고
문득 창밖과 책상 밑이 보고 싶더라도
이제는 그곳엔 귀신이 없다는걸 안다.
댓글을 달아 주세요
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